The [Ninja Turtles] henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents.

- xkcd

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Eat More Nachos

Ok, this came up in a conversation I was having today, but my username actually isn't an advocation that you should not eat nachos. I love nachos, I think they are a delicious treat.

However, I want to make it clear that I feel that nachos should be enjoyed responsibly. The full username should be, dontEATnachosANDdrive. However, I'm a nachoholic and am unable to enjoy nachos responsibly. It always ends in disaster (or nacho cheese in my friends' cars). So sometimes, people encourage me not to eat nachos (not to eat their nachos perhaps?).

Anyway, I just thought that needed to be clarified. Now to further prove my nacho love, I will post a series of nacho pictures that I will rate and critique on their appearance of deliciousness.

Continue on to nacho porn!

I'd give these nachos a 5 out of 10.

They look moderately appealing but, the lack of cheese and what appears to be chicken just kind of sitting on top, it's hard to really get too invested in them.

I'd have to give these a 6 out of 10.

They look more appealing than the first set, but the fact that they're individually prepared really makes them look more like a time consuming appetizers. Nachos are meant to be more hastily prepared.

I've got to give these guys a 9 out of 10.

They look almost perfect. Ithink the cheese could be a little more melted but besides that, glorioius. Maybe it loses a tenth of a point for the patriotic red, white and blue tortilla chips but the haphazard collection of chips and meat and cheese is so appealing. And the tortilla boat of nacho condiments on the top is a nice touch.

These, I've got to give maybe a 1 out of 10.

I don't even want to eat those. Is that dog food on top? What am I going to do with a whole tomato? And nowhere near enough cheese, plus is that velveeta? I would definitely spend a little time debating whether or not to eat these cafeteria nachos.

Ok, these guys get a retro 7 out of 10.

I know, they're the crazy nacho cheeze in a plastic tray nacho but when you need nachos, this is the kind you're most likely going to find at a sports game or movie theater. And when that nacho crave hits you, these are going to taste 7 out of 10 good.

Dessert Nachos? 8 out of 10.

Click the picture to see the huge version. It looks freaking delicious. I know they aren't technically real nachos but man, I want that dessert STAT!

Homemade nachos 6 out of 10.

They don't look that appealing but they taste delicious. These lose a point or two because of mystery meat/sauce beneath the cheese. The peppers on the side add a nice counterpoint though.

Upscale nachos ... 8 out of 10.

Some places just dont GET nachos. This one clearly has a high vegetable to tortilla ratio. It was about to lose major points for the unmelted cheese on top but if you click the image, you'll see that there is actually a second melted layer of cheese below. You've got to respect the double cheese. It also appears to have chicken. Although meat is not required for nachos. It can help turn an appetizer into a meal.


At 8/09/2006 4:30 PM, Blogger mdhatter said...

You must suffer from nachooozidosis: About a half hour after consuming nacho cheese, pure cholseterol oozes out of every pore, making drving quite hazardous.

I recommend gloves.

At 8/10/2006 7:19 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

I bet those dessert nachos are sweet bread, too. Frigging temptresses.

I think nachos should have a decent cheese spread all over them, a decent fresh guac, salsa and then more cheese. I love meat, but not necessarily on nachos. They should also be messy. If I am not eating a good portion of topping with a fork after the chips are gone, then there wasn't enough topping.

At 8/10/2006 9:20 AM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

yeah, I think the meat is alright. Although usually I prefer to go quesadilla and nachos, with the chicken in the quesadilla. For all of these, sour cream is unnecessary.

I'm beginning to hate this post because it makes me so hungry. Yesterday I was about to start eating my laptop screen they looked so delicious.

The worst part is that I've been eating healthy the past 3 weeks so there have been no nachos consumed.

At 8/10/2006 9:52 AM, Anonymous The Uncanny Canadian said...

While most or all of those nachos are appealing to me (even the lowest graded nachos - as my appetite is not visually affected), I think the upscale ones are the nachos I'm most interested in trying. I somehow think they will have more cilantro flavouring, and double cheese is always a good thing. I actually think some non-melted cheese will give the flavour a little more tang and complexity. Great post dEn!

At 8/17/2006 6:19 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

I was eating dinner with one of my brothers' family and his wife was going on about poofing up basic foods unnecessarily.

She asked, do we really need a arugala and fish taco?

I just about choked on my food and my brother gave me the worst look and I just about died with a hunk of burrito in my throat.


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