The [Ninja Turtles] henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents.

- xkcd

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

That Was Short ... DSL Hell Begins

I knew I was in for trouble when I signed up for DSL. I mean, DSL is notorious for being flaky and Verizon customer service is even better known for being a giant bag of crap. Still, for basically a third of the cost of cable internet, I felt that the $40 offset whatever headache I would get from spotty DSL.

And the service has been spotty. I've already grown accustomed to the fact that I can't actually upload large files anywhere because at some point the DSL is going to go down and my upload will fail.

This past weekend I was trying to transfer the first episode of that new USA show Psych to my girlfriend. Our first attempt was over AIM, which usually works ok. However, with DSL my uploads are capped at basically 16K a second and the file was nearly 700MB. So about 7 hours into the transfer it crapped out. Unfortunately, AIM decided it didn't want to resume the transfer where it left off.

So then I decided I'd try to upload the file to my website and have her download it from there. Again, about 5 hours into the transfer the DSL quits.

Ok, I understand that this can happen and uploading files over 300 MB just isn't going to happen. I can even live with that.

Then Monday night I'm sitting at home and I decide that I'd like to check something on the internet. Oh wait, even though I'm connected to my wireless router, there's no internet. I go check the DSL box and it's saying that no DSL connection is available.

Fine, the DSL is down randomly again. I can deal with that, I was expecting this.

Then last night I get home from work and the DSL is still down. This is starting to get annoying I think to myself. However, I really don't know if the DSL was down all day because I never checked it in the morning. I don't want to be a jackass and call unnecesarily (plus I didn't have the Verizon customer service number). So I do a bunch of things I know tech support will suggest. I reboot my computer, the wireless router, the DSL modem. I move it from one phone jack to another. I try a different phone line. Nothing works.

So I get up this morning and the DSL is still down. After I get into work, I look up the Verizon DSL support number and call them. After successfully navigating their crazy phone scheme I finally get to a person. As we go through this process of support I make a critical error, I accidentally let it slip that I'm not at home.

That was what the tech support lady was looking for, she instantly switches to "Oh we can't help you if you're not at home" mode. I do my best to try to convince her.

I eventually throw out this, "Well, let's say I'm at home, what steps would have me take?" line. For a second that actually seems to work. She's telling me that I should reboot my computer and DSL modem, make sure there are no other phones plugged in, move it to a different phone jack.

So I tell her that I've done all those things and then, unwilling to admit that it's a problem on her end she tells me "I'm sorry sir, you've got to call from home." At this point I know that the game is up. I'm going to have to call back and go through the entire process at home just so they can get the phone tech that is required to fix the service out at some point.

Well, at least I know already that I can resign myself to the internet not working for at least a couple more days.

Maybe that $40 a month more that Comcast would cost isn't looking so bad anymore.

P.S. Interesting face: when you google dsl hell you get a sponsored link of Verizon DSL. I think that's money well spent by them. I think I will click the link just to cost them a little bit more.


At 7/12/2006 8:13 AM, Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Dude, did we not learn from the Tivo shipments experiences?

At 7/12/2006 8:19 AM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

In the end though, I got an 80 hour TiVo for $20 more and it's been working problem free.

So the lesson to be learned here is that occasionally something breaking is ok?

At 7/12/2006 10:16 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

I saw Dead Man's Chest at Loews Georgetown (the only cinema within walking distance) and kept reverting back to the musak speakers in the center channel. I complained and got a free pass.

Great, now I can see another movie there that will break down. Awesome. Stay out of theater 2 at Loews Georgetown.

At 7/12/2006 11:04 AM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

that happened when the power went out at my showing of Superman.

It was kind of annoying but it reverted back after a couple of minutes.

At 7/12/2006 11:30 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

You got a pass, though? I am thinking I might go see Xmen 3 tonight.

At 7/12/2006 11:37 AM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

nah, there aren't really any movies I thought I would want to see.

I do have a free AMC pass from having bought 100 tickets ...

At 7/12/2006 11:39 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

100 tickets to what?

At 7/12/2006 12:00 PM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

to the movies over the past X years

At 7/12/2006 4:42 PM, Blogger mdhatter said...

I am very familiar with this scenario.

My service has usually been good, but my crap DSL Modem was faulty.

as an upshot, they sent me a new wireless integrated DSL modem/router, and for free.

still, verizon voice-mail phone menus pisssssss me off.

At 7/12/2006 8:55 PM, Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

No, the lesson to be learned is to stay the hell away from the communications world and their shit customer service and products.

Chuckles' story reminds me of the $40 in worthless coupons I got from U-Haul. When they sent them to me I wrote an e-mail back that said something like:

Just to clarify, you have the worst service in the world, you left me stranded, you've jerked me around for two weeks in calls to complain and you are giving me a measly $40 coupon for your services? I hate you and plan to not only never use again, I plan to tell everyone who will listen how to never rely on you during a move and by the way, you didn't even have any good looking guys at the station that I picked up the truck from.

Whatevs. Sometimes, it's just not worth it.

Also, hope your Verizon experience is as good as mine. I haven't had cell phone service with them since May. Yet, I get a bill each month from them. It's so nice calling and telling them how fakakta they are each month. It's such a great use of my free time.

At 7/13/2006 5:51 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

Cingular pulled that shit with me. I changed my address four months in a row on the back of the form and it kept on going to the old address. I changed it three times over the phone with three different operators and my bills still kept going to the wrong address. I told them I wouldn't pay anymore bills that went to the wrong address and they told me they would just shut off my service. I told them fine, you suck and you have the log of all my calls to customer service asking you to change the address, but it still keeps going to the wrong address. NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM.

I haven't had any trouble with Verizon in DC. Yet. Their service even works in the Metro, far underground. It makes me feel special.

I had a friend with Cingular in Queens and he had no trouble. I got much better reception there, too. Basically, each service has one or two cities where they do everything right and then the rest of the country can just fuck right off as far as they care.

Anyway, BEACH WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 7/13/2006 6:48 AM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

AG, I wish I had heard your U-haul story before 3 weeks ago when I rented one to move.

I got hit with an annoying "the tank is not filled with the same amount of gas" charge that ended up making it cost like $60 extra.

I called them up and explained that I only drove 16 miles so there was pretty much no way I would have used 1/8 of a tank of gas so they must be on crack. The ended up taking off $40 and I ended up saying "I hate U-haul".

Keep in mind this is all after I called the place up, they said to come in because they had a 10' truck . They then said, no, they didn't have a 10' truck, I'd have to get the 14' which was $10 more up front and $0.20 a mile more.

Also, I had to stand around in this scuzzy room that seemed to be filled up with old printing presses (because that was their office) in an area of town that was down this long and deserted rode in the middle of nowhere.

Of course I only went with this U-haul because the number for the one that was supposed to be much closer (and was still listed on the U-haul website) had been disconnected.

So yeah, U-haul isn't sketch at all.

At 7/13/2006 9:17 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

Did you see them unloading the U-Haul trucks at the back entrance?

The ones that say, "Columbia - A great place to pick some stuff up from your 'Aunt'"?

At 7/13/2006 1:19 PM, Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

dEn, we have to write matching posts about how U-Haul sucks and tell everyone we know. Ya know, keep up the two AG persona that is going on right now. (You could actually stop by my blog and read about the alter ego AG that is working the blogosphere.) She must be stopped!

At 7/14/2006 6:29 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

Like that will happen.


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