The [Ninja Turtles] henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents.

- xkcd

Monday, December 19, 2005

Shame on Yosef

I am coming to the realization that THYCWOTI may be immune to the more conventional "weapons of cute." However, I think I may have found a new way to defeat him, namely by causing him to turn into a quivering pool of saliva as he thinks of the many forms of pork he has not yet sampled.

So, Yosef claims to be the "master of pork."* He has expounded on pork and BBQ numerous times. Yet he has never before made public this site, or more particularly, this post which accomplishes the holy grail of all foodstuffs -- deep fried bacon.

If that's not fancy enough for you, here's a recipe for deep-fried bacon-wrapped oysters. That's right.

*I don't think I've ever heard Yosef actually claim this title

So, Yosef, explain why you have been silent on these issues? The clock is ticking...

UPDATE: 2 hours later and nothing but crickets! I think it is past time he is put under surveillance

16 Comments:

At 12/19/2005 2:41 PM, Blogger Chuckles said...

If you want him under surveillance, all we really need to do is wave his name and phone number out the window and the NSA agents assigend to watch our neighborhoods will get on him.

 
At 12/20/2005 8:31 AM, Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

While on the attack of Yosef, what about Nacho boy? I have never met this dude. Perhaps you could cajole him to give us kiddies a holiday rant or something.

 
At 12/20/2005 8:43 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

I think nachoDude was betrayed and murdered by zombieNacho. In the same way that Anakin Skywalker was betrayed and murdered by Darth Vader.

Man, that was cool.

 
At 12/20/2005 9:10 AM, Blogger Yosef said...

All pork is good pork.

Good enough for ya, punk?

 
At 12/20/2005 9:20 AM, Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

If this Nacho dude doesn't write soon, I am going to put out ads to replace him. Perhaps quality like Frank J. and the wife.

Not all pork is good. Most people agree spiral ham is not. Do you eat that Yosef?

 
At 12/20/2005 3:10 PM, Blogger pop renaissance said...

pork is evil. it was the first meat i phased out, in my teens.

however, having said that, the best pork is country sliced bacon.

 
At 12/20/2005 5:16 PM, Blogger Chuckles said...

I still don't undestand why people listened to Dr. Ruth? How could she give decent sex advice if she herself was unwilling to eat pork?

 
At 12/21/2005 6:39 AM, Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At 12/21/2005 6:40 AM, Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

Perhaps we should talk with Kermit the Frog, because he eats pork and plenty of it!

 
At 12/21/2005 11:14 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

O good god damn, woman...

 
At 12/21/2005 12:20 PM, Blogger Yosef said...

Not all pork is good. Most people agree spiral ham is not. Do you eat that Yosef?

Honey-glazed spiral-cut ham is delicious. However, it is not the best pork that there is. That remains to this day...


...knuckles.

 
At 12/21/2005 1:30 PM, Blogger pop renaissance said...

"...knuckles."

dear god, there is nothing more gross than a huge pig's trotter sitting there swimming in a pot of beans. you give 'em a stir and this fucking trotter floats to the top, bobbing away.

 
At 12/21/2005 1:52 PM, Blogger Chuckles said...

Could be worse, in Romania I was always pig faces in the butcher's but never the body. Where did it go? Who eats the head but tosses the body?

 
At 12/22/2005 7:06 AM, Blogger Yosef said...

You've never had snout or ears? That's about all of the face I know of that you can eat.

 
At 12/22/2005 11:51 AM, Blogger Gregor Samsa said...

My Dad used to eat pickled pigs feet. Sometime in my early tweenties I decided that there could not possibly be such a thing and rang it up as yet another childhood delusion. Then a couple of months ago I asked MomH and sure enough they were real and my Dad ate them. Comments?

 
At 12/23/2005 7:20 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

I have eaten some truly bizarre shit in my life, but feet and face are not on the list. Tripe soup however, is on the list. My Dad was a big fan of telling us our food was one thing and then after finishing it, telling us what it really was. He really engendered a real trust for adults in us.

I just wanted to know what happened to the rest of the pig in Romania. It made sense to me that the country was so fucked up if they slaughtered pigs, ate the head and threw out the body. No wonder those morons were so poor. Then later I found out that the body was claimed by the party or went to the so-called important people. Then I got a real sense of how fucked that system was.

 

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