Emerald Bile
In my never-ending [ed note: since it never technically started, we will allow it] quest to explore the boundaries between profanity and sexual empowerment I submit the above site (and sight) for your perusal. In that vein, note that GC might have a stroke if she read it. Kind of like the rude pundit only concerned with a lot pettier things (see holiday decorations post here)
Google image #1 emerald bile hit below and I'd say they are pretty much the anti-stylophone.
Also, any information on what a stylophone actually does is welcome
(note: I have already realized it is some bizarro electronic xylophone, thanks)
Vote below, as apparently my sense of humor vs. awareness of underlying disgustingness is apparently not always properly attuned -- though I do at least have the brains to realize Howard Stern is just dumb, not funny.