The [Ninja Turtles] henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents.

- xkcd

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Like Ponies, the Keytar is Awesome

Wikipedia defines the keytar as this:
A keytar is a keyboard or synthesizer worn around the neck and shoulders, similar to a guitar. The word "keytar" is a portmanteau of "keyboard" and "guitar". Keytars allow players a greater range of movement than conventional keyboards, which are placed on stands.
In this one case, Wikipedia is completely wrong. A keytar is in all reality, 100% electronic frickin' excellence.

Originally created by Steve Masakowski in 1978 the keytar actually went on to define a generation.

Consider this YouTube video of some guy rocking out with a keytar:

The keytarist in the video clearly realizes how amazing the instrument is, knowing full well the sound of the keytar will COLOR THE VIDEO FOR YOU.

While Chuckles has been busily anticipating that lame-ass Guitar Hero 2 (which apparently came out today). I've been busily working on programming the next ground-breaking game:

But in addition to the great keytar games, we're also going to be getting a keytar-themed Pirates of the Caribbean tour.

That's right, the radness of pirates combined with the majesty of a keytar to create a rock tour so phenomenal that it will blow your mind.

Screw going to see whatever lame hair metal/indie rock group that you were planning to go check out at some point in the future. Instead, the Pirate-Keytar Rock Experience will be touring the country.

And yes, if you're wondering, this much of this post is designed to move Chuckles anti-pony histeria down a notch. But that's not the only reason. Look again at the picture on the right. Pirate Keytarist. This is not a bitch-ass ninja, no, it's something far more deadly.

I'd like to further emphasize the awesomeness of this keytar tour by emphasizing the fact that the core of the group is the Darkness.

Hmm, I guess I don't really have much more to add about the keytar besides that. Well, besides the keytar neck tie that's all the rage right now. Oh and giant keytar playing robots.


At 11/08/2006 10:14 AM, Blogger fulsome said...

Keytars win?

At 11/08/2006 11:20 AM, Blogger fulsome said...

Alternately: all hail our new keytar wielding overlords?

At 11/08/2006 1:21 PM, Blogger Chuckles said...

Not exactly. My wrath was delayed a few hours and will be enacted tonight.

I swear.

At 11/08/2006 1:59 PM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

if you can keep from playing WoW long enough to bang on the keyboard for a minute and press Publish?

At 11/08/2006 8:20 PM, Anonymous Res Publica said...

That's right, the radness of pirates combined with the majesty of a keytar to create a rock tour so phenomenal that it will blow your mind.

Just reading about it blew.

My mind.

At 11/09/2006 5:05 AM, Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

I don't know. The guy who has the best chance of getting laid in a band is on vocals. The guy who is most likely to be adequate in bed in the drummer. AG speaks for all women that the keytar player should just be avoided.

At 11/09/2006 7:03 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

Seriously, tonight. I super secret corss my heart swear it.

At 11/09/2006 7:16 AM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

Ah, the eternal question: What do you call a post war where the opposing side is too lazy to respond?

At 11/09/2006 4:41 PM, Blogger teh l4m3 said...

Keytars are this year's theremin.

At 11/09/2006 4:51 PM, Blogger mdhatter said...



At 11/10/2006 10:11 AM, Blogger fulsome said...

I call it WRN level effort!

Way to go dEn. I think this one is pretty conclusive. Now let's resume the war on Christmas!

At 11/10/2006 10:52 AM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

If there's one way that I like to win, it's by default!


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