The [Ninja Turtles] henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents.

- xkcd

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Court Decision of the Century

This should be in 3B! or Fulsome territory but since I don't know if I can trust them to actually get it done, I'm going to do a little post about it myself.

Apparently a Superior Court Judge has ruled that burritos are not sandwiches. I know there has been much debate over the years as to the food included in the statement "I'm going to get a sandwich" but we now have official confirmation that burritos are not in that list. At least not in the US.

The judge made it clear saying:
A sandwich is not commonly understood to include burritos, tacos and quesadillas, which are typically made with a single tortilla and stuffed with a choice filling of meat, rice, and beans.
For those of you still hoping that when you open your MASK themed lunchbox—even though your mom said she packed you a sandwich—there is still a slim chance that it may in fact be a burrito, we have official confirmation that your hope was unfounded.

Of course, if you ever did have any doubt about the matter chef Chris Schlesinger wants you to feel like a complete jackass. In his affidavit in the case he made it quite clear. "I know of no chef or culinary historian who would call a burrito a sandwich. Indeed, the notion would be absurd to any credible chef or culinary historian." That's right, the smug society of credible chefs and culinary historians are laughing at your ignorance.

It's ok though, it still doesn't change the fact that your 4 foot long burrito tasted delicious.


At 11/14/2006 3:28 PM, Anonymous Pinko Punko said...

Where is this court decision- holy hell- is somebody on the nose candy?

At 11/14/2006 3:30 PM, Anonymous Pinko Punko said...

Ha! Panera EATS IT! I wonder how much Schleschinger made for his expert burrito testimony.

At 11/14/2006 3:39 PM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

sorry, I accidentally put the link for the story where the 3B! link was supposed to be.

It should be all fixed now.

At 11/14/2006 3:47 PM, Blogger mdhatter said...

Hillarious. Corporate Law strikes again.

At 11/14/2006 5:55 PM, Blogger Chuckles said...

I thought I was the only one who remembered MASK.

I am probably the only one still possessing a MASK toy, though. Which might explain my love life.

At 11/14/2006 6:02 PM, Anonymous Adorable Girlfriend said...

Why is it when it's about food, Pinko is always the first to show up?

I heard about this on the radio. Another fine waste of tax dollars.

At 11/15/2006 6:55 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

This is far better thing thiat judge has done than he has ever done before.

I regard this as more important that that silly Roe vs Wade decision. Whose life was changed by that?

At 11/16/2006 11:03 AM, Anonymous Res Publica said...

Well someone needed to lay down the law. If a burrito is a "sandwich" just because it has some carbs wrapped around the outside, then what's next? Do fish sticks become sandwiches because they have breading around them? Does an order of chicken nuggets become a sandwich platter? It could shatter the very foundations of occidental civilization!

At 11/16/2006 3:22 PM, Anonymous porterhouse said...

This is great. Now I can open my chain of lettuce wrapped foods. I'll have the BLT wrap, the reuben wrap, the chicken salad wrap...oh the glory of it all.

At 11/21/2006 5:24 PM, Blogger teh l4m3 said...

I don't suppose the judge who made this ruling wears a doilie collar...?


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