
Ok, I got this joke from my GF and I think she was right when calling it "the world's greatest pirate joke." I've since found that it is also a favorite of Ben Folds and many others on the internets. In fact, I believe I might have been the only person not to already know this joke. Oh well.
So, this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch.
The barman, being an observant sort, says “Do you know you’ve got a steering wheel attached to your crotch?”
“Arrrr,” says the pirate. “It be drivin’ me nuts.”