The [Ninja Turtles] henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents.

- xkcd

Monday, May 22, 2006

I love the Internets

I have to do a lot of web research1 for my job. I am asked to find publicity photos for books and movies. I am also asked to add companies to our database so we can email2 them. I can usually find enough new contacts that my boss watches the group get too big and never does anything with it. He thinks it takes too much "resources"3 to email 70 people. OK. Fine, as long as you don't harsh me in the next review for doing my job too well. This is the same boss that freaks out about our server being down whenever he encounters a 404 error and demands that I check the server.

"The server is down."
Me: "What kind of error are you getting?"
Boss: "Internet Explorer says that it can't find the server."
Me: "That means the website you are trying to view is out of service."
Boss: "Should I call tech support?"
Me: "No."
Boss: "What about our website? I am going to call tech support to check our website."
Me: "No. I am looking at it now, everything is fine. The website you want to see is on another server that is not working right now. You might want to check the link or the location bar."
Boss: "What?"
Me: "Ok, looks like everything is fine, then, I'll just go back to work on X."

This is the same guy that lost the wireless mouse for the office laptop and then claimed that I must have lost it in the five minutes after he gave me the laptop. Two weeks later, he found the mouse at home. I asked him if he would like me to keep it with the rest of the computer equipment, but he decided that he should keep it to prevent me from losing it. Apparently, I learned how to bend spacetime and teleport to his house and fuck around playing football with the laptop and lost the mouse and then teleported back to the office to report it missing. Whatever, I am getting way off track.

I came across this in my latest batch of web research4, Stop Alien Abductions. I was tempted to include the group in the database because I had been instructed to input everything linked from one page. I just bookmarked it and moved on after reading more than a bit of it. That site is simultaneously sad, a little scary and a lot funny. And by funny, I mean it in the meanest emuliscious way. I am laughing at crazy people.

Laughing at these poor bastards is a bit like trouncing the Shoot a Liberal crowd in that neither of them can really defend their lives or opinions. The Shoot a Liberal crowd could educate themselves, but choose not to while the tinfoil hatters are just crazy.

1 I surf and blog and whatever, mostly it is a little silly because I am given hours to complete a task that takes minutes and minutes to complete tasks that take days. The bigger projects are almost always over thought and poorly conceived, but whatever.

2 Spam. We spam them about once every other month in an attempt to generate new advertising revenue.

3 Everything in quotes will be an actual quote from the font of computer wisdom that is my boss.

4 Goofing off.


At 5/23/2006 7:27 AM, Blogger dontEATnachos said...

Ahhh ... those crazy PHB's. You never know what crazy stuff they'll say next.

I know just last week mine was like, maybe we should make sure the new SQL server is on the domain, that way we can use a trusted connection and domain groups to specify the rights of a given user.

To which I could only respond, but the web server that needs to connect to the SQL database is in the DMZ so it's not on the domain!

Ahh, silly bosses ...

At 5/23/2006 8:26 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

You guys have a server in the DeMilitarized Zone in Korea? DAMN.


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