The [Ninja Turtles] henchmen Bebop and Rocksteady have hijacked the musical genres for us just like the Lone Ranger hijacked the William Tell Overture for our parents.

- xkcd

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Lets All Bitch About Work!

So I finally convinced the boss that we needed a new printer and also convinced him to pay for it. Yesterday, we went to worst buy to purchase the new machine. I am going to skip this part of the story and just say that everyone working in worst buy is a dumb moron except for the nice cashier girl who asked for my ID when I used a credit card.

This morning, not half an hour ago, my boss shows up and I haul out the printer and begin schlepping it upstairs. My boss asks me where I am taking it. I look at him in slight bewilderment and say, up to my office. (I have no printer at all and currently print everything on the photocopier which, while nice, is on the first floor of the office. My boss thought the printer would stay in his office. I have no idea how he got this idea, since I had repeatedly made it clear that if I had a printer, we could print color documents twice as fast by using two printers. My boss tells me that they wanted it installed somewhere on the first floor. I asked him where and he says they were thinking that we could attach it to the accounting computer. Which is 5 or more years old. It's a pentium for chrissakes! So I look at him with my usual combination of deer in headlights and hulk on a rampage stareglare when he makes an ignorant request involving tech. I slowly recollect my thoughts from the discombobulating effect this boss has on me and respond with, "That is a bad idea." Why? "Well, I understand why you want to switch out the old printer, but even if I could get the new one running here, we would lose 90% of its functionality." I was quite proud of two things: my answer and not ripping his head off and shitting down his throat for even suggesting this. (I have been after a new printer for months and they have been for years and this is their idea? I asked for a new copier and we got one in a week which is supposed to handle all our printing. Right now it handles only my printing.) Really? It won't work? Can't we install it somewhere else down here? "Not really, you already have two printers connected to your machine. If we install it upstairs, we will still be able to network print." Ok, but I should talk to the Editor in Chief first. "Ok." I carried the printer the rest of the way upstairs. Lo and behold, wonder of wonders, my statements proved to incontrovertible and I am now installing the printer on my desk. Chuck smash.

UPDATE!!1!!111!: My boss now claims not to understand how it would be beneficial to have two printers working on the same print job. He is quite the dumb moron when it comes to tech. As if that weren't apparent already.


At 2/23/2006 8:45 AM, Blogger Gregor Samsa said...

I'm retired so I wish that I can join in on your work bitching but I can't!

Congratulations on your victory!!

At 2/23/2006 1:51 PM, Blogger Chuckles said...

Hey! I got an idea! Why don't you go jump in the ocean. The part of the ocean that the giant jellyfish live and go pet them. Yeah! That's a great idea!

At 2/24/2006 6:59 PM, Blogger Adorable Girlfriend said...

Just work in Corporate America and forget about it. Sell out man. Live the cash making dream.

At 2/24/2006 8:09 PM, Blogger mdhatter said...

Your boss needs a dancing unicorn for a cursor.

At 2/25/2006 7:23 AM, Blogger Chuckles said...

He already has tons of adware on his machine. He claims that he wants it on there so he can see the new trends in ads. Which is why he also signs up for spam constantly and magazines. That he doesn't read. He just files issue after issue on his shelves and never reads them. His important papers are like the blob and free space in the office is the puppy in the car that the blob wants to devour.


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